Let Your Flame Burn Bright

As I lit the blackened wicks of my favorite candle, I realized something quite peculiar yet quite magical. As the wicks became engulfed in a flickering orange flame, the blackness of the wick rose to the surface in the form of smoke. In fact, quite interestingly, the dark gray air lingered atop the flame for a good five seconds or so, slowly releasing and diluting into the air around the candle until the only thing left was a beautiful, smokeless, flickering light. A light kind enough to illuminate dark nights. A light warm enough to provide heat and comfort to those who need it. A light strong enough to burn anyone or anything that tries to put it out. You should be that light. We should all be that light.

There are people and things that we'll encounter in this world that will not protect our inner flame, that will not tend to our flame to make it grow in size or strength, that will not appreciate the inexplicable beauty of our flame. Many will, but many others will not. Those that do not no longer deserve to feel the warmth or see the brightness of our flame. Those people and those things are the smoke, and we would all shine brighter and stronger without them clouding our light. Just as a beautiful fire needs the right environment to thrive, so do we, and anything that even begins to put out our flame must be let go.

A few days ago, I was participating in a small cohort of students at my university, and the activity involved creating our own definitions for the words, "courage", "compassion", and "connection". After we all shared our definitions, we read the ones created by a well-known sociologist, Brené Brown. Her definition for "connection" made my heart jump into my throat and my eyes swell with tears. It said:

"the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from relationship"

The room was silent until the activity leader began speaking again. She told us that if we have any relationships in which we do not feel seen, heard, or valued, they no longer belong in our lives. Any relationship that does not uplift us is not worth our time or energy.

I asked myself why the definition had made me so sad, but there was no need to ask myself anything. I already knew the answer, and it was that truth that made my breathing suddenly feel uneven and difficult. It's the truth that there is someone in my life who has recently been dimming my light, nearly extinguishing the very thing that makes me who I am at my core, the very thing that makes me me. But the thing is, after watching the flame of my favorite candle grow brighter after letting the smoke drift away, I decided that I must do the same. There is no room for dark smoke in my life, the life that should light me up and make me feel the strength, warmth, and brightness of a perfectly flickering flame. There is no room for anyone that does not make me feel seen, heard, or valued.

So, thank you, candle. Thank you for teaching me perhaps the most important lesson of all: that my flame is perfect just as it is and it is only the environment in which I stand that can make me feel less than. It is only the environment that can make me feel dim or weak or not enough. So, I've decided to release the smoke from my life and burn brighter than I ever have before. That requires letting go of anything that dims my light, and although it is one of the most difficult things one can do, I know it will be worth it. So, I encourage you all to do the same. Let go of anything that dims you, and let your flame burn bright.

Quote of the Day: Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes, it is letting go.

-Herman Hesse

Peace, Love, + Happiness,

Deviva

#connection #selflove #strength #courage #compassion #lettinggo