We live in an extremely fast-paced world, one in which the phrase, "Sorry, I can't; this week is too busy for me", is far too common. Free time is no longer cool. Instead, running from one meeting to the next and having an impossible number of tasks on your to-do list are all the rage. Spending time relaxing has become synonymous with being lazy, and being the person in the room with the greatest number of credit hours or club memberships gives that person all the 'cool points'.
This is crazy, and I say this not because I have an empty schedule or am the poster child for balancing work and play. Instead, I say this because I have begun to feel deficits in my life as a result of living this way, as a result of always trying to be everything, do everything, say everything, and accomplish it all flawlessly.
I recently went through a traumatic event that flipped my world upside down and inside out. My mind, body, and spirit have been left reeling, and my sleeping and eating have almost come to a complete halt. However, this busy life of mine has not stopped or even slowed down a little bit. I have not missed a single meeting, single homework assignment, or single class because, in my mind, I simply "cannot". In my mind, I need to keep racing through and do do doing because it's "who I am" and "I can't put life on pause". However, as a result, I am not healing properly. I am left in this odd, numb state of being in which I observe myself going through all of these motions but am not present for even a second of it... This painful hamster wheel is what I am trying to change because living this way is clearly not the healthiest option for me at this point in time, and this is where a brilliant friend's words of advice have come in handy.
Yesterday morning, one of my best friends insisted I take a couple of hours out of exam cramming, so she drove us to a local farmer's market, where I felt the sun truly shine upon my skin for the first time in what felt like forever. As we walked, I told her how I was doing, and I fought back tears as my body went through the motions of buying produce and fake smiling at the lady behind the apple stand. My friend listened kindly, nodded when she needed to, and threw in an occasional, "Aww I'm so sorry, Dev.". When I finished pouring out my heart, my friend looked at me and smiled sweetly. She explained to me that it's ok to feel. It's ok to cry. It's ok to take an hour away from studying to write in my journal or bake a cake or lay on the floor or sit in the sunshine or literally do nothing at all. It's OKAY, and sometimes, it's necessary. While life may not slow down for me, I am allowed to slow down my life and be a perfectly imperfect human if that is what I need to do. As she said this, relieved tears streamed down my face and allowed me to finally release emotions that had been lingering in the background for far too long.
I think this wonderful friend of mine has a good point. We may not always get to control what happens in life or when they happen, but what we can control is how we deal with those things, and the key I have found is patience. If you are going through a tough time, it is perfectly ok to take a breather and take a step back from anything that's not promoting your happiness. We act as if the world depends on us attending every meeting or appearing "fine" all the time, but that's not always true. What the world does depend on is our happiness. Just think: if everyone slowed down sometimes, took care of themselves and their needs, and felt just a little happier as a result, wouldn't the world be an even more beautiful place? I sure think so.
So, here's to taking time to relax. Here's to taking time to do that thing that lights up your soul. Here's to spending time with friends or dancing in your bedroom or crying to your mom. It is all ok, and it is all sometimes necessary. It really is. So, dear beautiful reader, go be a perfectly imperfect human, one that makes mistakes and cries and stumbles and deserves to be taken care of. No one is perfect, and that is okay.
Quote of the Day: "Be patient with yourself. Nothing in nature blooms all year."
Peace, Love, + Happiness,
Deviva